Brain dump
The random brain dumps of a recovering codependent
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Rejection is God’s protection: A Sunday morning brain dump. Rejection is God’s protection, I have heard this and many other phrases similar to this many times throughout my life. “God heard conversation’s that you didn’t hear”“God sees the intentions that you don’t”“Rejection is simply God’s way of redirecting you.” And while, yes, a person who is not willing to sit with themselves and face the shadows that your light illuminates leaving your life is most certainly God protecting you from more trauma but knowing that still doesn’t make the actual rejection any easier. Yes, God removing that type of energy from your life because it only blocks the true blessings…
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Breaking the cycle
At nine years old my sisters and I were taken away from our mother and placed into foster care for the fourth and final time. When the police showed up at our house and told us to pack what we could into our trash bags, this was not new. We knew the drill and the dreadful feeling that came with leaving what we were used to. I think the two of them were just as comfortable in the chaos as I was. We were comfortable with stealing dinner from the corner grocery store to eat and rummaging through the neighborhood dumpsters when we wore holes in our shoes. We knew…
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.
I recently came across a quote that I felt compelled to share with you guys today. When I read these words on my phone screen I immediately got goosebumps as something about it resonated deep in my soul. I could not believe that I had not thought about this before. I also could not believe that with the many years I spent in therapy, the countless hours I spent describing my symptoms, the many different medications I had put into my body, the many words of advice I received I had never heard these words before. “Anxiety is simply living in the future and depression is simply living in the…
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Dear little Stormy pt 1
Stormy; (of weather) characterized by strong winds and usually rain, thunder, lightning, or snow. (of the sea or sky) having large waves or dark clouds because of windy or rainy conditions.Characterized by violent emotions, passions, speech, or actions. Wow… Those are big shoes to fill. With a God-given name like that, how is it possible that you do not have a wildly beautiful purpose to fill in this lifetime? How is it possible that you are not meant to be everything you are today and yet so much more tomorrow? How is it possible that you ever, even once, doubted the beauty that lies deep within your soul? The hurt…
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.
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Be the lighthouse
Statistically I should be a junkie. I should, at this very moment, be passed out with a needle in my arm. On the dirty floor of a trap house with no running water and man-eating roaches crawling on the walls. I should be outside of the liquor store begging for change to buy my next bottle. Drowning my trauma in tequila. I should be begging that my next fix is the one that finally does me in. But I’m not. I have worked since I was 15 years old to build the life opposite of what I grew up in. I have also watched as that life fell apart. And…
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.
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To my future Husband
My Love, I can remember, as a little girl, dreaming about what my wedding day would look like. Even as a child the same gypsy blood ran through my veins. Pretty white high heels with manicured toes were never in the original plan. Always barefoot. A chain of flowers wrapped around my ankle. Surrounded by the people that loved me most. Birds chirping. Sun shining. Flowers in full bloom. I pictured myself the most beautiful bride there ever was walking slowly down the center aisle headed straight toward the love of my life. Until one day I stopped allowing myself to dream of such a beautiful moment. I stopped allowing…
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.
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Daffodile
“Shhhit! We are late boy, go brush your teeth and get your ass in the car, we have to get it in gear!” I shot Drake a stern glance as I walked out the door and jumped in the car. Ten minutes later we were zooming through traffic as we made our way to the high school. “Have a wonderful Wednesday, do your best to be your best, and don’t forget how important you are.“ I gave my usual morning speech as he stepped out of the car and made his way up the catwalk stairs toward the hell that awaits freshmen every day. I let out a sigh of…
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.
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It doesn’t matter
The power of “This doesn’t matter” You know that moment where the stars align just right and you are smacked in the face with what you can not deny is a sign that the universe? That moment when you feel the slight pull in your gut and that voice in your head that whispers…. “BITCH!!You’ll need this later.” For weeks, you have felt less intense versions of this feeling but ignored it, Until now. It’s too loud and in your face to put your fingers in your ears like a 10 year old and act like you can’t hear. God got tired of your shit… He knows you’ve been getting…
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.