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Rejection is God’s protection: A Sunday morning brain dump. Rejection is God’s protection, I have heard this and many other phrases similar to this many times throughout my life. “God heard conversation’s that you didn’t hear”“God sees the intentions that you don’t”“Rejection is simply God’s way of redirecting you.” And while, yes, a person who is not willing to sit with themselves and face the shadows that your light illuminates leaving your life is most certainly God protecting you from more trauma but knowing that still doesn’t make the actual rejection any easier. Yes, God removing that type of energy from your life because it only blocks the true blessings…
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Because I deserve it.
This fucking heart.This heart of mine will be the absolute death of me.Being gifted with the ability to love unconditionally is both a blessing and a curse. This morning I find myself asking God “Why me.”Why did you give this to me?What did I do to deserve the pain that comes along with loving people so deeply in a world where love is just a word backed up by no action at all to most? When you have done the work within yourself and been able to accept yourself and stand in authenticity you give everyone around you silent permission to do the same. You inspire other people to want…
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Breaking the cycle
At nine years old my sisters and I were taken away from our mother and placed into foster care for the fourth and final time. When the police showed up at our house and told us to pack what we could into our trash bags, this was not new. We knew the drill and the dreadful feeling that came with leaving what we were used to. I think the two of them were just as comfortable in the chaos as I was. We were comfortable with stealing dinner from the corner grocery store to eat and rummaging through the neighborhood dumpsters when we wore holes in our shoes. We knew…
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Mirror, mirror, on the wall
“Meet me at the park in twenty minutes.” My heart skipped every single time he would text this to me. The thrill of sneaking out of my office, meeting up with him, and disappearing to our secret spot to participate in my very favorite nonsexual physical activity, making out, was always a welcome surprise. It always had to be on his terms, because, well he was a busy man. Both with his respectable career and with his longtime girlfriend. So, when he could get a few free minutes in his day I happily obliged in filling that time. (I know, I know… trust me, there is nothing that you could…
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The Beauty In Rock Bottom
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800-273-8255
“There is some allergy medicine in the bathroom cabinet, you can take one.” My new foster mother, Deanna, told me as I sneezed seventeen times in a row. Wiping my nose on the sleeve of my shirt I walked into the front bathroom that I shared with both of my sisters, Deanna’s biological daughter, and two other foster children that lived in the home. I was the newest foster child here. My sisters had lived here for a while but I was recently sent back from an adoptive placement that didn’t quite work out after I was sat down and told that I’d never see my sisters again because they…
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The Beauty In Rock Bottom
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To myself, I promise.
The sound of my alarm clock played loudly in my ear as I blindly searched, slapping my bed sporadically hoping to hit my phone with my hand.With my free hand, I rubbed my still closed eyes, trying to massage them back to life.I blinked once.Twice.Three times, before I rolled over and scanned my immediate area, snatching the phone up, hitting snooze, and closing my eyes once more. As I lay there trying to will myself back to sleep God blessed me with reminders of the dream my alarm so rudely pulled me out of. I was on a hilltop in a beautiful white lace-trimmed skirt. Hair blowing in the wind,…
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Ten ways to get out of your own damn head.
I recently came across a quote that I felt compelled to share with you guys today. When I read these words on my phone screen I immediately got goosebumps as something about it resonated deep in my soul. I could not believe that I had not thought about this before. I also could not believe that with the many years I spent in therapy, the countless hours I spent describing my symptoms, the many different medications I had put into my body, the many words of advice I received I had never heard these words before. “Anxiety is simply living in the future and depression is simply living in the…
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She is better than happy. She is free
Two and a half years ago I sat face to face with the man I had spent fifteen years building a life with. I looked him dead in the eyes and listened as the explanation of his betrayal spilled from his tongue. “Stormy, I’m going to fuck her“ His eyes moved from the garage floor back to my face as if to gauge my reaction. “When I left the house, I was so mad. I was so hurt. I got dressed up and went out, fully intending to pick up some random chick, but realized.. I do not even know how to do that. So, I called her. He went…
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Today I affirm..
There is so much magic in surrender. So. I’ve decided to take a much-needed break from social media for a while. It is an idea that I have been going back in forth on for a while, I have taken a few days off here and there, but have not been able to commit to it. Mainly because I have a horrible habit of distracting myself. Distracting myself from all the tough things in life that I just don’t want to face. Distracting myself from my inner work. Distracting myself from doing what I know I need to do. I get comfortable in life and ignore the need to do…
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Five ways to start loving yourself more TODAY.
“Great… I fucked it up…. aggggain.” How did you feel when you read that? Did it make you all warm and fuzzy inside? Give you the confidence to pick your head up and keep it moving? Make you want to try whatever “IT” is again” Yea…. Probably not. But….. Does it sound familiar? Take a couple of minutes to hold yourself accountable for how you speak to yourself. Honestly, how many times during the day do we say things like this to ourselves? Too many to count, right? Now, would you look your best friend in the eye and say to her “Great… You fucked it up… agggain” Chances are…
